ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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