i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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