Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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