Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
