I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
