Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
