I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
