drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
