So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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