i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
