susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
