I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize