Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize