38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
