8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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