I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
