i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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