Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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