He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
