My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
