i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
