Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
