I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm at about main and main street
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
