we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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