You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
