he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
