If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
