currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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