she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
