My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize