office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
