Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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