I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
