Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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