Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
