How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
