6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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