Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
im holly from the hills drunk
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize