and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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