I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
