I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
