She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
