ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i think im in europe. pls send help
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
