I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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