Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
