Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
