Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
This is the high leading the old right now
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
