and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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