There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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