She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize