I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize