My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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