Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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