Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
