he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I need moral support for this bender
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
