DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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