woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize