dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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