The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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