oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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