I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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