Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I have tasted many bathrooms
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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